Beyond amazing that a friend of John's recommended him to a woman whose mother is in a nearby, full-services senior care residence. The daughter, who lives a good 3 hours away, was hopeful that my artist hubster could get together with her 96-year old mom to do some artwork.
This morning was John's first meeting with his potential client. We were both taken aback to realize that she is in the medical section of the residence. It turned out that the woman had suffered some sort of medical situation earlier in the morning & the staff doubted she'd be up for any sort of get together, let alone a drawing session.
While John was meeting with the olderster, I waited at the nurse's station. On an end table, propped against a lamp, was a darling bear in a pink party dress. Being a mega stuffie lover from way back, I asked about the sweet thing. It turned out it belonged to the very woman John was meeting, that she took it everywhere with her.
Just then, a procession of an aide, a nurse pushing a wheel chair with a very frail old lady in it, and John bringing up the rear, caring drawing supplies, passed me, on the way to the Enrichment Room.
It was very clear that the woman was not only old & frail, but was in a far more advanced stage of Alzheimer's than had been described. The staff's faces & demeanor showed they had very little hope of John connecting with her.
I followed, standing a bit off as John & the frail old woman were seated at a table, the drawing pad in front of her, a box of crayons to her left. She seemed somewhat distressed, making small noises, not making any eye contact, fidgeting with the top button of her sweater. The possibility of having any sort of meaningful time with her seemed slim to none.
John reached over and, talking to her, gently undid the top button. She slid the sweater off her shoulders, still without any eye contact with my hubster. I was keeping out of the picture, since one stranger can be stressful enough. Watching the two of them, John talking to her in a tender voice, her not responding or even seeming aware of his presence, a thought hit me. I hoofed it back to the nurse's station, picked up the teddy, and double-timed it back. Walking slowly & softly to the opposite side of the table, I put the bear down in front of the woman.
It took a few moments until she focused on the beloved stuffie, but oh - when she did! Her face lit up & her whole countenance relaxed. Seizing on the moment, John talked about her bear, keeping his comments general & pleasant. When she responded, looking at him with a smile, he told her about our own bears. I don't know what else followed, as I tiptoed away.
What were the odds that the bear would be right where it was, when it was? Coincidence? I think not. One thing is for sure - will always remember the procession that came back about 10 minutes later, the woman seeming to be just as unaware as she had going in, but the aide & the nurse & John all grinning away.
The once dubious nurse was in happy shock - "We didn't think you'd get her to do anything. We couldn't get her to draw more than a circle!" Seems that John suggested the elderly artist use the bear as her model. Did they draw more than a few lines? No. Was it a rare meaningful moment for a mind-fogged old lady? I haven't a doubt. A painter in her earlier life, John made it possible - on many levels - for her to express her artist soul, even if just an echo. Will always remember how he responded to her, the tender way he spoke to her, the manner in which he made her feel safe & then drew out the creative energy so long dormant within her. It might have been just for an instant, but it WAS.
All because of a tender-hearted artist with a talent for connection & compassion and a little bear in a pink party dress. Spooky wonderful, indeed!
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