It is wondrous that my 91-year old mother embodied friendship, compassion & joy in other's good fortune. And not surprising Mom never mastered the 4th of Buddhism's "four immeasurables - equanimity. How many of us ever truly do?
Personally, I'm light years away from mastering any of the four, but equanimity? Of all of them, that is my bete noire - my black beast. Oh, there are times I think that my life, my attitudes are becoming more balanced, temperate. And then some minor thing happens & my reptilian brain takes over & I get engaged in utterly intemperate emotions.
Emotions - what pesky things they are, how strongly they tie connect bind us to negative imbalance in our lives. Make that "invest" us in dunderheaded attitudes & righteous poses.
How splendid it feels on those occasions when I do succeed in detaching myself from all the fierce hoo ha that lies in wait, ready to spring out at the first perceived slight or offense.
What I've discovered over the past year is the importance of celebrating - slapping myself on the back, so to speak - when I actually DO manage to approach a potentially arrggghhh situation with calmness, with composure, letting my prefrontal cortex step ahead of my "let's just freak out" amygdala, to take the lead. Recognizing when that is happening, noticing how I am physically as well as emotionally feeling when I respond in a level-headed fashion to something that typically sends me spiraling, letting my brain soak in awareness of "THIS feels good," makes it easier to duplicate later.
There is no equivocating with the massive challenges of achieving long-term equanimity in the face of all the gauntlets thrown down by life. But once faced AS a challenge, this throw down between my reptilian amygdala (aka AMY in our house) and the more sophisticated prefrontal cortex (aka CORY) becomes sort of fun.
Will I achieve equanimity within this lifetime? We shall see. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the process & my progress!
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